I think I am getting old…er, or wiser, or changing anyways. For the past five years we have been cool with winging it. Making six month plans for where we were heading and not sticking with them, because something new and exciting came up. This is just how we lived. This is how we liked it. 
   But 2 weeks ago, when I found myself in my salon crying because I was completely confused as to what we were doing, that is when I thought, “maybe I do need a bit more stability planning”. I can’t say this ever used to be my style, but why else would I be crying:
  • hormonal (Possibly, but not that time of the month.)
  • the heat (Yes sweating constantly can drive one mad, but not to the point of tears.)
  • kids (They have been particularly horrible difficult this month.)
  • hubby (He has been working lots, but that’s not unusual.)
  • money (It’s getting near “that point”, the work point.)
  • plans (What are we doing? Who the heck knows.)

   Like my Brittany said, “maybe the pot just needed to boil over”. So there I was, crying, because everything I mentioned above felt like it was colliding and crumbling in on me. I just had to let it all out. Have one good cry over it and get my head straight. Since that day we have had a few conversations towards a “plan” but nothing concrete has formed. And that’s ok. I didn’t need immediate answers. I just needed a few minutes for my emotions to take over and run complete havoc with my face (I am not a pretty cryer) so that I could see things a little clearer. To start seeing a general direction of the way things need to go for me to not have complete meltdowns on a weekly basis. 
   I had to look at the points one by one, and see if there was anything we can do to make them better.
  • hormones (Nope. Nothing can be done here other than eat some chocolate, drink some wine, and wait a couple of days for them to pass.)
  • the heat (Find every A/C place on St Thomas to visit with the kids. Get a cooling mattress pad to help with sleep. Keep in mind that in a couple of months this heat wave will be gone and remember there are people over in Canada that are cold right now.)
  • kids (Been trying different parenting techniques to see if their behaviour changes. Keep them busy and out of the heat and they will be less fussy. Consider enrolling them in activities or school, where “I” am not their only source of learning and entertainment. I may have overdosed on my own kids. But that’s a whole other subject.)
  • hubby (Connect more with him. More conversations over supper. Enjoy the little breaks he takes here and there to spend with us.)
  • money (The hubby is working on that so don’t stress too much.)
  • plans (Try and get answers to some of our questions: “When will Eben be crossing the Atlantic on a friend’s boat?” “Is Tanzania in January a go?” “Where will be spend this sailing season?” “If we go where do we leave the boat?” Start using my resources that’s all of you to learn what the options are out there.

   When listed out like that it all seems a little more manageable. I have also started forming this dreamy idea of what I would like to see happen: continue living on our sailboat in a Spanish speaking country where the cost of living/school/health care is cheap. With a lot of your recommendations I have started looking a bit more into Mexico, it is intriguing for sure (but such a far sail…less intriguing with the kids. Anyone want to go for a week long sail with Eben?!)