I think I am getting old…er, or wiser, or changing anyways. For the past five years we have been cool with winging it. Making six month plans for where we were heading and not sticking with them, because something new and exciting came up. This is just how we lived. This is how we liked it.
But 2 weeks ago, when I found myself in my salon crying because I was completely confused as to what we were doing, that is when I thought, “maybe I do need a bit more
stability planning”. I can’t say this ever used to be my style, but why else would I be crying:
- hormonal (Possibly, but not that time of the month.)
- the heat (Yes sweating constantly can drive one mad, but not to the point of tears.)
- kids (They have been particularly
horribledifficult this month.)
- hubby (He has been working lots, but that’s not unusual.)
- money (It’s getting near “that point”, the work point.)
- plans (What are we doing? Who the heck knows.)
Like my Brittany said, “maybe the pot just needed to boil over”. So there I was, crying, because everything I mentioned above felt like it was colliding and crumbling in on me. I just had to let it all out. Have one good cry over it and get my head straight. Since that day we have had a few conversations towards a “plan” but nothing concrete has formed. And that’s ok. I didn’t need immediate answers. I just needed a few minutes for my emotions to take over and run complete havoc with my face (I am not a pretty cryer) so that I could see things a little clearer. To start seeing a general direction of the way things need to go for me to not have complete meltdowns on a weekly basis.
I had to look at the points one by one, and see if there was anything we can do to make them better.
- hormones (Nope. Nothing can be done here other than eat some chocolate, drink some wine, and wait a couple of days for them to pass.)
- the heat (Find every A/C place on St Thomas to visit with the kids. Get a cooling mattress pad to help with sleep. Keep in mind that in a couple of months this heat wave will be gone and remember there are people over in Canada that are cold right now.)
- kids (Been trying different parenting techniques to see if their behaviour changes. Keep them busy and out of the heat and they will be less fussy. Consider enrolling them in activities or school, where “I” am not their only source of learning and entertainment. I may have overdosed on my own kids. But that’s a whole other subject.)
- hubby (Connect more with him. More conversations over supper. Enjoy the little breaks he takes here and there to spend with us.)
- money (The hubby is working on that so don’t stress too much.)
- plans (Try and get answers to some of our questions: “When will Eben be crossing the Atlantic on a friend’s boat?” “Is Tanzania in January a go?” “Where will be spend this sailing season?” “If we go where do we leave the boat?” Start using my resources that’s all of you to learn what the options are out there.
When listed out like that it all seems a little more manageable. I have also started forming this dreamy idea of what I would like to see happen: continue living on our sailboat in a Spanish speaking country where the cost of living/school/health care is cheap. With a lot of your recommendations I have started looking a bit more into Mexico, it is intriguing for sure (but such a far sail…less intriguing with the kids. Anyone want to go for a week long sail with Eben?!)
Sending positive thoughts your way as you decide what is next for you and your family. You're a strong, brave foursome, and I have no doubt that sleep, wine, chocolate, and love (not necessarily in that order) will help you make those decisions. I'll look forward to hearing where you're headed…
Another ugly crier (Jessie)
Thank you Jessie. To be quite honest our 5 year old is what is causing the most issues now. She is acting out with all sorts of bad behaviour. The hard part is that it's not constant, she has her great moments and then her really bad ones back to back. Anyways, like you said, wine, chocolate, and love are helping!
Big virtual hug coming your way. I had a bit of an ugly cry a few days ago, as well. Sometimes you just need that release. Your list looks doable – just take a step at a time. Good luck!
PS – really diggin' your new blog layout.
You are right, just letting it out makes it feel better. I am totally the "bottle it up until I just all come gushing out" type.
And thanks about liking the blog layout. I really prefer it to the old one. It took me a full day to get it this way. Still a few tweaks I want to make but I am so happy with it
Thinking about y'all! If Eben ever needs crew, let me know.
Thank you, and we may take you up on that offer someday 😉
Yes, sometimes the pot does need to boil over….
I have found that as my (only) child ages, our family needs have changed.
We used to be very laid back and casual about plans, our lives were fluid and it worked for us.
However, now that our son is getting older, he is requiring more structure, something that has taken me completely by surprise. It isn't bad, just different and unexpected.
Concerning Mexico, my parents have friends (European) raising their small children in Quinto Roo area of Mexico (Yucatan) and they seem to be very happy with their living situation. At least in my experience taking our son to Mexico, their community certainly values family and children.
Thanks for your input about Mexico.
I think you are right about the new structure needed being a good thing. It's just something new to adapt to. I am starting to see that our eldest daughter needs more outlets than she is currently getting where we are in the USVI